Moan for me like Helen Keller
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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