please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
