I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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