Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
