He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
