Porn is love you can see.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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