wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You're a waste of cheezeits
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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