If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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