I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
