just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
