We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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