Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
