Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
