I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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