It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
