he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I need a hoe opinion
go on
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
