I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
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