She announced her abortion via fbk
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
