Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
