She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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