How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
