Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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