I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
