HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
