One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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