I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize