We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
