i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i now understand why vodka
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
