I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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