I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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