Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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