Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
