I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
