How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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