I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We have so much sex to catch up on
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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