kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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