nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
