Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We just shotgunned beers for America
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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