All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
