dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
