...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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