thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
