once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
