I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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