Tell her she can't have a vagina
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Randomize
