Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
