FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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