TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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