ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
