and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
