Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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