atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize