1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
