do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
thus making me awesome and them whores
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize