Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
