with your own penis?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
