i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Little spoons don't ask big questions
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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