i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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