hotel room ftw
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
