you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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