I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So much rum. So many feels.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
