Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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