No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
