Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
no more duck duck goose at the bar
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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