i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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