Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
