I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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