I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
