Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
