You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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